


TESSELLATION OF SOMETHING NEW

by musesfiction



Category: The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-09-14 06:39:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16908045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musesfiction/pseuds/musesfiction
Summary: You know you have a job to do when you are assigned as one of the medical professionals in giving hospital care to one of the most dangerous patients you have ever come across with in the hospital you work in; you have no idea where it’ll end up taking you.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first reader insert story, and a piece for one Billy Russo, but I would love to hear some feedback for it while writing like a total cliche. This will end up being a long one and a long ass series, isn’t it?

They had warned you about this guy. Not just in that ‘don’t let your guard drop around this guy, he’s gonna break your heart’ kind of way, but in that ‘don’t let your guards down around this guy, he could break your neck’ kind of way. The warnings though probably weren’t far off, you had never been mistaken to think otherwise.

William Russo, a dangerous man, an ex-marine, who had gained himself a name on the news for his collusions in drug smuggling of higher degree and ruthlessly murdering federal agents among other people to cover up his treasons. You didn’t need to be told he was a dangerous man, it seemed you were reminded of that every time the news uncovered something new about his past and how he had ended up in a hospital bed with his face lacerated almost to something unrecognizable.

At first, you had been terrified and wary every time you had walked into that room; even with his face covered in gauzes and kept barely conscious, he still disseminated something overawing about him. Maybe it was because of the words instilled to your cognizant mind by literally everyone around you; law enforcement, the staff, your boss, your family, your friends, the news and even yourself, or maybe there just was that something about him you quite couldn’t put your finger on.

Intimidating or not, since the first moment, you knew you had to do your job, your superiors had picked you as one of the nurses to attend to the case of William Russo for a reason. You had never been alone with him, you had never had to be alone with him, as it seemed that they always counted extra staff and a guard to guarantee the staff’s safety whenever you set a foot into the room where the highly dangerous, accused man, was held tugged away, cuffed in hospitalization for his wounds and injuries until he could be held accountable for his heinous crimes.

The law was in a hurry to find William Russo guilty for all his crimes, from what you understood, the government was in a hurry to put a blame on someone, just about anyone, for all of the dirty deeds that had happened in their higher ranks since some CIA operations in Afganistan. Honestly, you didn’t have the whole picture, nor you truly really wanted to get the whole picture of it, even if media was busy painting those pictures for you, just as were those who knew anything to close to none the name William Russo.

Due to his extensive injuries, you and your selected staff had spent weeks taking care of the man bound to his bed, he had been in and out of surgeries; saving some of what could be saved from the demeanor lacerated by pieces of glass, a bullet, and a whole lotta punches. The one they called The Punisher had really made a number on him before they had been able to arrest and capture him and bring him in to be hospitalized to wait for his final judgment days. 

Maybe it had been your own mistake when you had after a few weeks of silence, without any contact with the patient you were treating, began quietly babbling about anything and nothing significant at all to ‘patient 309′ (as the staff identified him without a name). You had begun babbling and murmuring at him softly whenever changing his gauzes, injecting with antibiotics and doing the daily routines that were required in patient care. It was not that you felt sorry for him, not much anyway, but it was more of that you were not a fan of silence, and you always began babbling when you crossed that point of certain fidgeting state on your mind. 

The guard accompanying you in the room had given you a pointed look the first time when you had started talking about the weather, for a moment you had been certain he would tell you to shut the hell up; but he hadn’t, so you just opted to ignore the looks you were given. The only sign that William, (or Billy, as at some point you had begun to call him after weeks of others shorting him as), was cognizant to your stream of words was the small huff of breath you had barely caught with your ears, and the alternating rise and fall of his chest, almost like he had found something else to focus upon besides whatever it was that was crossing his mind or the pain he was sensating from his wounds.

Even with your continuous babbling days on out at the man whose wounds you were treating on most days you were working, he had never given you a single response, not a hum, not a shook from his head, not even a single glance, as it seemed he preferred to keep his lids closed shut in the presence of the nursing staff. You had only heard of his terrifying black pools from a colleague who had accompanied a surgical team and authorities in his room, had they spoken about what would happen next when the last surgery would be over and the gauzes could finally be removed from masking him from the rest of the world.

You had seen Billy in his former glory only through your tv-screen and the newspapers covering over and over again ‘the story of former war hero becoming a ruthless criminal’; maybe that was one of the weighting factors that had a part of you feeling sorry for the damage that had been done to his face and his life despite the crimes he had done. Every time you had to remove the gauzes, to uncover the slowly healing damage done to the tissue of his face, you were stirred with unease; it was also the only times you would find yourself falling quiet after babbling yourself in and out of the room at any other given time with the man. You were worried he would finally open his eyes, to witness the sorry ass knot you had in the pit of your stomach thinking about how no one was deserving of some of the things he had done to other people, but also what other people had done to him.

“You know, this is probably the last time you’ll have to stand listening to me babbling around. This is your last dose of antibiotics. ”, you mused in a soft hum, gaze focused upon the yellow translucent liquid in its container as you began the intravenous treatment into the man’s physiology. ”The last time the infection had been coming down nicely, too.”, you knew you shouldn’t have gone for the sympathy rally, and yet lately you couldn’t help yourself with the occasional offering of sympathy you found in your stream of words to the unresponsive patient you were treating.

As you took a step back from your position beside the bed, one of your hands returning back to your side as you retracted it from the scroll you use to control the speed of the infusion, eyes finally following down to the patient getting your medical attention at the time. Truthfully, you weren’t sure what you had been expecting, though you knew you hadn’t expected to meet the pair of opened eyes focused on you. Now the word terrifying wasn’t the word crossing your mind when your eyes for the first time locked with the almost black-hued eyes finding yours; no, you were taken back and stilled right where you were. A foot away, it wasn’t easy to mask the blank expression you had, caught yourself unable to look away.

You were glad his face was covered by the layers of white fabric, it meant you didn’t have that look in your eyes you otherwise probably would have had; Billy didn’t deserve a pity party, at least that was what you kept telling to yourself whenever caught with that knot in your stomach. You could feel the heat climbing up to the flesh hills of your cheeks, though your expression remained blank with your attention failing to grasp anything behind the gaze initiated at you; what you had expected to witness in it anyway? Some said he was nothing but a psychopath, some had painted him as a tragic character that life had simply done wrong and screwed sideways.

For a moment you thought you heard, though you weren’t sure of it, a low chuckle emitting somewhere deep from the solid cavity of his chest, something you had maybe hoped to earn from him one time, though not exactly this way. You lips parted once more, yes; you were looking for something witty to say to add to your endless amounts of usual rambling, but before you could even make your mind to assemble any words out of you, the pair of his dark optics had already been taken away from you and Billy had once again shut his eyes from the world around and you.

The guard who had not been looking at you before was certainly looking at you now, clearing his throat as if you were just simply uncharacteristically quiet all of a sudden, and you allowed that to pull you from your momentarily from your disappointed of not owning up your witty with the man you had spoken to for weeks on end without any further result. There was a question in the guard’s raised eyebrow as he looked at you, something about his stance suddenly making you realize he had probably thought Billy had tried something. After all, your words did not only say that this would be the last of your babbling, but also that his time in the hospital was coming to an end and he could be moved somewhere where he would be put to answer for his actions.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are just about to get interesting.  
> This part got longer than I expected, but I didn’t feel like cutting while building for what's to come!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: I honestly suck at content warnings. It is for Jigsaw/Billy Russo, it ought to be triggering to a certain degree. I suppose should list here mentions of a gun and death? And angst, shh.

Today had been the day. Today had been the day and you had been there, you had been a part of something that felt bigger than most things in your life. In fact, you had been the one to peel off the layers of covering the scars and the still perforated tissue yet to heal off William Russo’s physiognomy. You had been self-conscious from each and every movement your hands crafted, had there not only been you, Billy, a single guard in the room, but today you had been joined by another nurse, two surgeons, two federal agents and a lawyer to top the cake and devour the frosting. 

Billy, of course, had been just as cuffed to his bed as he had been the other numerous times you had been in his presence, cuffed to his very existence as the accused, dangerous criminal. The moment you had stepped into the room that time, you instantly noticed how somebody had been there before to assist him into a cleaner hospital wear, the room had been touched too; you had no doubt it had something two with the additional guests. It had almost been tangible just how the air had alternated in the room since the last time you had been in it, met his dark gaze in it. 

You had known all along what part was reserved for you in this brief visit to his presence, you knew how you were supposed to play part; you knew, that as soon as you were done playing your part, all you had to do was to walk out and never look back and see the presence of William Russo ever again. There was something about your part caused you a sense of dejection but you quite couldn’t explain yourself why; you were cognizant to the fact that you would never be in the presence of William Russo ever again, but you refused to believe it could cause you dismay in any sense.

William Russo was deserving of whatever would come to him, he was deserving of anything that would come to him after officially released into the custody of authorities. Your comfort, and maybe his, was the fact that New York did not do death penalty and for a reason and another you hoped his allegations were not to carry anywhere where that would be of possibility. Death was not a punishment method you believed in; did you believe dying would be too easy? Or was that because of your merciful soul?

Nothing had been released to the media about Billy’s current location nor when he would move forward to meet his verdict; though you could imagine what a spectacle it would turn out to be once that information would be leaked to public knowledge. During the late days you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what would happen now that he was in the condition being moved forward to meet his verdict, and you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about if he thought about it every day, cuffed and chained to his faith, what his future would next serve him.

You hadn’t been able to keep your mind together since you had heard of the date and the time and the deed, you knew exactly what it meant and for some reason, you found it difficult to process. Usually, when you were in the presence of Billy, certain formalities and protocols were made before you stepped inside the room; you were already familiar with each step it took. Today had been different, you and your colleague had been introduced to the federals and the lawyer; one more eager than the other to set a foot inside the room with the William Russo. You had been made clear of your role, and although you knew exactly what you were supposed to do; it made it all seem all the more formal, which left you with even more unease than you anticipated.

At first, when you began to peel the layers of Billy’s bandages, you thought this time would be just like any other time in his presence; he would not open his eyes to you or anyone in the room, for that matter. But this time, even before you had been able to use your small scissors to cut into the dressing, you sensed the pair of eyes upon yourself again while your colleague introduced Billy to hold his head still. His eyes didn’t scare you, though they did cause you to halt in your movement and to look back into the infinite abyss of his nearly black eyes; once again you had found nothing but maybe curiosity in the gaze that enthralled you.

At that time you had needed a sharp intake to re-focus yourself, all too aware of the amount of observing gazes in the room. You could not allow yourself to focus on anything but peeling off the layers of white fabric, you could not allow yourself to glance up at the dark pools that were attentive only not at what you were doing but at everything else in the room around him. With each layer you peeled off, you had to remind yourself not to allow yourself to think of how his angular features had been mutilated before most of it had been rescued, before the tessellation of his skin until there were only his scars left as a reminder.

That was how the rest of the process had been, for you anyway; though the silence had been unnerving as hell, you had forced yourself to focus upon what you were doing with your hands instead of focusing upon the meaning or what was revealed from underneath the layers. You had paid a single glance up to the dark eyes, just the same paying a brief moment to you before he re-focused his hardening gaze to the additional guests in the room. And that had been it, you had tossed the gauzes into the trash can beside you before you and your colleague left the room without ever looking back.

\- - - - - - - 

As you were making your way to your home from work, hours after retreating from room 309, leaving your former patient Mr. Russo behind; you still couldn’t stop thinking about how the events could have unfolded after you had retreated the room. You didn’t know when Billy would be moved, when he would be transported into a different facility, but you were well aware what that would mean. Weeks had passed surprisingly swiftly, though the process of his healing had been slow and probably to him very excruciating. You could think back for when you had first assigned to him; he had been in and out, in agonizing pain and nobody could tell how his recovery would actually go. Everybody had been surprised that the road to his recovery had been as quick as it had been.

You could not help but to shake your head at just how distracted you allowed your mind to be by what should not have a significance to you at all. Since when you had started to take work home with you? And since when you had allowed a criminal like Billy Russo to plague your mind the way he now did? You willed your mind to stop thinking about Billy Russo as you took the few stairs up to the front door of the small apartment building you lived in; you were home, not at work, and you were not about to allow anyone to plague your mind the way he had the past weeks you had spent treating him. You were resolute; as soon as you would shut the door into your apartment, you would not allow your mind to become distracted by your former patient.

A sigh escaped past your dry lips before you moistened them with your tongue. You dug around your purse in an attempt to find your keys, and to keep your mind busy and distracted from the thoughts trying to penetrate into your mind. ”Come out, come out wherever you are.”, you hummed as your keys, apparently, had decided to hide somewhere under the layers of all your items in your purse. You fished and you fished until your slender digits caught a grasp of the item you had been looking for. ”There you are.”, you huffed as you with one swift movement dug the keys out and insert them into the front door’s lock to enter the hallway leading up to your apartment. 

You weren’t sure how you were going to work your way around distracting your mind from thinking about your former patient; but you were happy to have a few days off and be able to take a bath, watch some trash tv and maybe even empty the bottle of vine you kept stored for when you really needed to scrub your mind clean off work. Maybe that was why you had never noticed a presence coming behind you; your distracted mind, but before you could turn the key in its lock, you suddenly became aware of someone behind you; close behind you, while a limb wrapped around your waist almost enough tight to squeeze your caught breath out of you. You froze.

”You probably shouldn’t go into so many details when babbling to a nothing to lose criminal, planning his own escapee. ”, the voice against your ear was low and breathy, a sound you could almost physically feel vibrating down your spine alongside the shiver your body involuntarily pushed through you. You could feel cool metal pressing against the under the bridge of your chin, and the almost crushing grasp around your waist forcing your slender frame to connect to the firm front of the man behind you, causing a sharp gasp to escape you instead of the yelp you could feel pressing against vocal cords.

“Don’t think about screaming, I will blow your brains out before you can even make a sound.”, though his voice was raspy, a voice you had only heard at your ear from a tv-screen before, there was no doubt in your mind about who the man delivering you the words of his thread. ”Now, open the door and let’s take this somewhere more private.”, Billy almost cooed against your ear while dragging the cool metal of the barrel of his gun along the bridge of your chin, down to the side of your neck before moving it to press against your side to make his point come across. 

”And hands where I can see them.”, he finalized; you could feel the trembling of your hands and he could probably see it too, as you used your hand to turn the key to unlock the front door. After all, what else you could have done? You had no choice but to turn key in the lock and leave yourself at his mercy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: I still suck at content warnings. It is for Jigsaw/Billy Russo, it ought to be triggering to a certain degree. I suppose should list here mentions of a gun and death? And angst, shh.

First, was the anything but gentle shove through your doorway into your apartment. You were stumbling forward less than gracefully, barely keeping your balance; you could hear the lock of your door clicking after the door shut with a thud behind you before Billy’s towering height was right behind once again. You barely had any time to actually process the events taking place as you felt a hand slid right inside the pocket where your phone was connected to your in ear-headphones; the earbuds all too conveniently peeking out from the insides of the compartment of your leathery jacket, letting him know where to look.

Second came the demand for all the rest of your electronic devices, ones that you could possibly use for signaling help and rescue. It didn’t take him much to scope the single room your apartment was, plus the bathroom, to spot the only other device abandoned on your nightstand beside your unmade bed. It didn’t take much from him either to stride across the room either, before he partially just trashed your phone and laptop onto your extra comfy, favorite armchair by the corner of your small flat. Was your mess of an apartment was about to become your prison cell; with a comfy bed and your favorite armchair?

All the while Billy was swift in all of his movements; he was quick to move from eliminating your communication devices to shut the curtains and to scope the inches your small apartment held. Now maybe if you would have been in your right mind, in your wits and all about, you probably would have been able to recognize his military past coming to life right before your eyes while you simply stood there staring at him pacing back and forth your flat. If your mind would have been able to any cognizant thinking, you would have probably been able to see past his collected but efficient exterior.

Truthfully, through it all, your mind had completely halted. Instead of considering any attempts to escape or fight the man across the room to you, gun pointed at you just to make sure you would not think of doing either, you were immobilized and frozen at the very center of your compact residence. You couldn’t tell if you had lost all your courage to fight against the now well known, dangerous man in your living space, or if it was simply that you couldn’t believe what was happening to you? Probably, and likely, it was a little bit of both; though losing your wits in a way you had been losing it around Billy, was not something that usually happened to you.

While you were barely able to move a muscle in your body, Billy could not settle to stand still until he had scoped the entire immediate space of his surrounding. From his stance, from his spacing, it was almost tangible how his mind was racing through every possible sequence that could take place for his actions; what could happen if he did even just one mistake in his already considered plan. It was not the first when he had found himself between rock and hard place, and it would probably hardly be his last time either. Though the circumstances were fairly different to anything he had ever faced in the past, but just like before his intent mean was to survive and not get caught.

You were finally startled off your stupor by Billy’s deep voice from across the room; the words sounded almost like an echo with something you could have sworn were already sounding on your mind without your actual recognition of them. “Sit, over there.”, the words were a barking repeat, though not as aggressive as his push and shove before; the barrel of his gun he kept pointing to your direction and then tilting towards the direction of your small couch, was enough to make his point come across. You couldn’t help the humorless chuckle emitting through the back of your throat, your lips once again falling open to give at the male a small piece of your mind, but instead, your finally moving limbs carried you around the small table between you and the cushioned spot you dropped yourself onto.

You could feel Billy’s eyes on you; and though you now kept your gaze to your hands tugged between your knees, the vivid image of his scarred face and dark features reflected to your mind. ”You are uncharacteristically quiet.”, his smooth voice held a sense of derision that caused you to look up at him, stood across to you with his strapping arms crossed over his chest, his gun no longer pointed to your direction but still held in his hand. At your unresponsive but pointed look, Billy carried on with a tone much more meaningful and serious at you, ”Don’t try anything stupid, like calling for help or escaping, and I won’t have to use this one on you.”, tilting the weapon in his hand as if you didn’t know what he was getting to.

This was the first you realized he was wearing civilian clothing; a dark set of clothing that seemed to fit to his military background just perfectly. Had he really been able to plan his escape well enough to have a set of his own fitting clothing waiting for him, alongside with a weapon and a plan to hide from half of the city looking for him? Had they already found out about his escape? How long has it been since his escape and how long had he waited for you to threaten his way in? Your mind began to swarm with questions, finding back to his previous words about how you probably should not have been babbling on around a dangerous criminal planning his own escape.

”How long have you been planning this?”, you suddenly spat with your gaze hard on him, ”Because I have never told you where I live, you are wearing clothes that seem like they are straight from a catalogue just for you, you have… That thing with you.”. ’That thing’ was where your voice fell down and ended your rant flat; ’and you have a bag hanging over your shoulder’, your mind supplied to your mind where your words had failed you. Your gaze moved over his countenance; over his angular features covered by the same stubble that had been cleaned just recently, over his scars stood out even with the contrast of his arresting dark eyes, and then the hair had been held short to make it easier to treat his wounds, you didn’t miss the little quirk found from the corner of his mouth either.

”Sweetheart, I’ve had plenty of hours to think of the best way to get me here.”, Billy finally gave with his gaze still steadily on you, ”I was never going to wait for them to move me into another facility.” That was enough to make you turn your gaze away from him, eyes involuntarily finding to your dashed away phone and laptop in your favorite armchair. ”Don’t even think about it.”, his voice came through in a soft warning, you could hear him move from where he had stood before he snatched something off the soft table, moving to where your gaze insistently held onto to avoid getting caught staring at him again.

”So we’re just going to sit here tight, and I’ll be out of your hair as soon as I get a few arrangements done.”, you were forced to face his form once again as he slumped down onto the armchair after moving your phone and laptop just enough to make himself the room to sit on it. He pointed the remote he had taken towards your tv and turned a channel on; unsurprisingly so, the news screened out the face of the male sitting a few feet from you, highlighted warnings attached to the image with a news reporter’s voice running in the background. 

You turned your head to stare at the screen warning you about William Russo ’armed and dangerous’, the grim details of his escape were lost on you until Billy used the remote to turn up the volume just enough hear the words clearly. You forced yourself to take a deep breath to keep the panic bubbling deep inside you at bay; a brief glance through the corner of your eye confirmed Billy settling back to listen to the news, all the while you could sense his alert and aware from the way he rested the hand holding his weapon at his thigh and kept his shoulders tensed, with his bag by his feet.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: With Jigsaw/Billy Russo, it ought to be triggering. Here we are on a case of kidnapping and criminal in hiding, gun mention and whatnot.

You weren’t sure just how much exactly time had passed since the moment from your doorsteps, gun threatening your life, to the passing time where you were just sat there, staring blankly at your tv-screen. Your mind was running in desperate circles, you were trying to keep the worst case scenarios out of your mind, though you weren’t all that successful at that. Somehow, unsurprisingly so, most of the endgames running through your mind ended with you dead, or with Billy dead; neither something you were to hope for. With all of those scenarios in mind you 

You knew for a fact that the authorities were looking for Billy, but you couldn’t exactly call for help, for had the man holding his gun robbed you of your phone and laptop. Trying to escape or screaming for help would have only ended just as badly his vigilant presence a few feet from you. Nobody would come looking for you, authorities had no reason to, your colleagues would have no reason to suspect anything was shady, not with your couple of days off work and no plans made. And what would happen if somebody did come looking for you and knock at your door?

You let the question hang and refused to think of the horrific scenarios that you could have vividly imagine if you would have allowed your mind to it. You used every ounce of your will to keep your mind from thinking about how many people could get hurt if they caught Billy trying to make his escape from the city. He had said he would need to make a few arrangements and he would be out of your hair; but what if you ended up doing something stupid if you couldn’t keep your panic at bay long enough? What if you heard the wrong thing and he had no choice but to eliminate you from his scene?

You couldn’t help the shudder involuntarily causing your body to quiver, you knew you needed a distraction, stat. Otherwise you would spiral into a panic, and nobody needed that; especially not you. Truthfully, you could not tell just how easily Billy could be triggered with his ass on the line if you made one wrong move or mistakenly found yourself vocalizing your panicked mind screaming. You didn’t need to be a genius to realize how spiraling down the panic lane could danger your life if you jeopardized the plan of Billy’s escape.

Now the only muddle about finding something to distract yourself with was, that you couldn’t exactly practice your usual distracting activities with the Wanted Man sitting in your living room. You weren’t about to ’dance it off’ with Billy sitting a few feet from you, you couldn’t take your phone and scroll through the usual sites you read, you couldn’t put on a DVD or Netflix to watch mind numbing shows… You could say finding distraction stat wasn’t going to be easy. 

Billy had eased into the comfy chair was seated in, he held a burner phone he had dug out of his bag at the arm of the chair as if he was expecting a ring, he still held his gun in his hand, but still somehow he appeared to have found himself almost lazed in his position. His dark optics were no longer focusing on the screen flashing through the news, though it was not hard to tell there was something flickering behind his unfocused gaze; you were sure all of his senses for receptive to his surrounding even with his mind occupied by his own plannings.

You hadn’t even realized you had been staring at him until his head tilted to your direction and his voice tore over the background sound of the news playing on your TV-screen, ”What are you staring at?”, it wasn’t hard to sense the undertone of irritation in his question even with his voice even at the words he spoke you with, gaze steady on you. You were trying to ignore nervous tremor running through you just as you realized just how intently you had been staring at him, and then had been caught for it. His gaze spoke nothing for what ran through his mind, though he was steadily looking back at you like nothing could move him.

You could stare back at him only for so long, his dark orbs were not only intimidating, but they were also undressing in a way that made you feel like he could see right through you if he wished to read into your soul. You dropped your gaze down to your together entwined hands on your lap. You were both terrified and infuriated all at once, you knew it would be best for the best not to allow the flare in you to manifest aloud, but at the same time silence was not something that suited with you either. ”Oh I don’t know, maybe I’m just trying to figure out how this will end for me.”, though the words stumbled out of your mouth in a mumble, there was a spat in the content, you were forced to take a deep breath.

You were still not looking at him, but you could hear a low hum emitting from him. The movement was subtle, but you could hear Billy shift in his seat before he was quiet again. You could feel the pair of his dark eyes watching you, intently observing and probably trying to read where your mind was spiraling, and if you were a breath away from gyrating into a panic. Your demeanor probably spoke for trepidation you were in with you all too intently staring at your entwined hands, frozen to your place, the skin over your knuckles tightening as you had begun to squeeze your fingers around your hands even further. 

”Look at me.”, his voice tore through your silence in a voice that was not demanding, but more of an invitation. You didn’t look at him though even if he waited for you, ”Hey, look at me.”, so his voice came through louder, more like a demand this time around. You closed your eyes before taking in a deep breath, trying to attain just a little bit of control over how your mind was processing the position you were in, slowly tilting your head back up again to look at Billy’s direction to meet his gaze. 

You couldn’t read the eyes that were looking at you from just a few feet away, though it was not hard to tell that he was trying to prevent any unnecessary drama from injecting into his plans. His dark orbs were almost gentle, calm and without any malicious intentions. The smoothness of his voice gave you more disturbance than the words you were met with, ”Be a good girl, don’t try any tricks and do as I say, you’re going to get to tell this exciting story forward.”, though his words were probably meant to ease your mind.

You contemplated his words, still taken by his immensely brown eyes before you voiced the question on your mind. ”Do these stories ever end well?”, your voice was almost raspy, yet it was enough to cause Billy to chuckle acerbically as if your question could only amuse him in the context. You could see the small quirk tugging at a corner of his mouth, the amusement even reaching his dark orbs. You tried not to become disturbed by it, not that you weren’t disturbed by your position in the first place.

Your eyes were caught watching the subtle shift in Billy’s demeanor as he tried not to entertain something upon his mind out loud. There was a smirk he was trying to suppress from his scarred features as if he knew better than to speak the amusement of his mind. This was the first when you really permitted yourself to study the scarred, yet well-defined features as the two of you facing each other. It had never escaped you that he was a reasonably attractive man, you had no doubt he had used his looks for his own advantages before that aspect had been taken from him. 

”Now who would it make me if I killed my gentlest nurse? What kind of monster do you think I am?”, you hated the almost purring resonance in his voice, hated it enough to feel disgusted by his questions that were nothing but rhetorical. Your expression probably spoke for the disgust and apprehension his words caused in you, or at least there was something about your expression that caused Billy to purse his lips and to withhold his amused expression from you. 

You were already far too frustrated to listen to your better judgment and to withhold the snap from your capturer, ”I don’t think you want me to answer to that.”. As soon as the words left you, you were already scolding yourself and your never shutting mouth, and for possibly breaking his first advice to get yourself out of your tough spot. Sometimes you spoke without thinking it through first, sometimes you spoke even if you had thought it through and had opted it was best not to speak at all.

Another sign of amusement lifted his features, ”Oh sweetheart, I’m sure I’ve heard it worse in my days.”, he seemed almost impressed with you as he retorted back at you. It was what caused you to pull your gaze once more away from his almost taunting demeanor, his respond causing you to curse yourself twice as hard for entertaining him in the first place. If you had just kept his mouth shut in his presence in the first place you wouldn’t be in your position to begin with.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fifth part, while I have been taking forever to update my story, I am hoping you enjoy reading it! Sorry not sorry for the cliffhanger, though I have a few ideas how to carry out this story, I have yet to decide how many more parts this will be and how I will finalize the ending in the end.
> 
> Content Warning: With Jigsaw/Billy Russo, it ought to be triggering. Here we are on a case of kidnapping and criminal in hiding, gun mention and whatnot.

You felt tortured sitting in your silence, the only distraction you allowed yourself to, was the tv half muted directly in your eyesight. Of course the wheels in your head were still turning, you were only half cognizant to the news showing on the screen, your mind more focused upon recollecting and thinking over every moment you had spent with the man in the room. With other words? You were over thinking, about details that hardly even mattered thinking about the situation you were in.

Billy had been admitted into the hospital looking unrecognizable and mangled so bad, that people had not been living in the hopes of saving his former structure, nor that he would even ever wake up from his coma. At that time you had known about him only as much as has been shown on the news about his connection to The Punisher and then about being a wanted man for his crimes, but as time went by and you had been put on his case, of course you had learned more and more about his past and how people had seen him before he had been outted for his offense.

At some point, you had found yourself beginning to feel sympathy towards him, though you had never become blind to the crimes he had been accused of. Suppose that was your curse, you had never been heartless and you had always wanted to see the good in people; even in the ones you had only heard stories of. It was those attributes in you that also gave you your curiosity for the stories of other people, just so you could understand the means behind their actions. Maybe at some point you had hoped to see further into William Russo’s mind, but that wish had fled you as soon as he had pointed a gun at you.

Still, you didn’t wish for his death. You wouldn’t have been surprised if the authority would have wished upon him the worst punishment possible, though the man holding you hostage had surely lost everything, and maybe in a way, he had already been served with the worst punishment a man could face for his crimes. Again, you could not read his mind, and you were no longer sure you even wanted to know the complex layout.

One glance at Billy’s direction proved you that he was mulling over his situation as hard as you were yours; though you were certain he was much more present and alert to his surroundings than you were. What would he be capable of if he was caught off guard or how would he counteract upon a situation if he was somehow found and tried to scoop up and arrest him; you could imagine he never intended going down easy.

Just thinking about it had you nervously fiddling your digits together in front of you, every moment spent in silence drove you further into your ferocious and wild imagination, causing you to become far too perturbed for your own good. Your whole body was almost taken by your fidgety state, and it made your body want to just shoot up and do something, anything, to distract your mind from the thoughts that were just going to drive you insane, be your greatest downfall. 

“I never thought you deserve death for what you’ve done, and I thought you didn’t deserve what was done to you.”, you simply blurted the first string of words out of your mouth, though you had meant to keep those thoughts all to yourself instead of sharing them with your capturor just because you weren’t the type to keep your mouth shut. Like never, especially when you were too anxious to stay still.

”Past tense?”, you hadn’t expected Billy to counter back to your stumbled out words, but the question caused you to look up and meet the faintly inquisitive gaze caught up with you. His query was made as if the two of you had just sprung into one of those most casual asking conversations instead of emerging into a conversation about his fate and how he deserved to pay for the heinous crimes he had done, and was doing to you. 

”I don’t think you deserved what happened to you.”, you commenced to clarify, a little too apace at your retort. You were answering to the steady, dark orbs scrutinizing you as if he was trying to read whatever you were just trying to find a way out with a lie, or if you truly meant what you said. It was not hard to imagine how odd and peculiar your words may have sounded to someone who was holding you at gunpoint and against your will for their illicit means.

It was almost unnoticeable, but you could see the small lift rejuvenating his scarred physiognomy, the tissued scars even more prominent even with the contrast of his dark eyes. ”You don’t know even half of what I’ve done, sweetheart.”, again, he spoke as if you were engaging in a conversation far more trivial than the actual content it held, though it made you feel much more at ease than you probably should have been, all things considered.

”I never said I don’t think you belong in jail.”, you didn’t feel like you were crossing the line of being too honest or too blunt with him, not with how the two of you had emerged into your exchange. No surprise nor offense was found from Billy’s features upon how easily you delivered your honest thoughts with him. ”I’m surprised you don’t think I should be hanged for my crimes.”, he admitted instead.

”How Napoleonic of you.”, the absurd words came from you with a slight chuckle, alike absurd amusement was probably attached to your expression, for his expression spoke for the preposterous sense found in your wits. ”Like the monkey.”, the rejoinder he gave you rendering you almost as close to speechless as you could possibly be without feeling like you had just made an utter fool out of yourself. 

The little smile tugging at the corners of your mouth spoke for the ease you found yourself in at the easy conversation you were in. ”Shut up.”, subtle amusement easily dipping in your retort; there was no offense in how you laid the words out to him. For a moment you were worried you had given him a reason to no longer feel amusement about your jest, you felt relief as he seemed not to lose his amusement in your absurd wits.

It wasn’t hard to tell he was thinking about something as he shook his head, about to say something until he came into a halt in all his movement. You were both caught by the sound echoing in your small complex of an apartment, the sound caused Billy to uprise on the spot and within seconds he was at your side and yanking you up from your arm before shoving you towards your locked front door. Another scurried knock sounded from the wooden surface just as Billy’s hand tightened around your upper arm.


End file.
